Finally, the Glitter Gang decided that we needed to know more about this squirrel. Lucky for us, Steven had unknowingly hired someone who had completed the junior park ranger booklet at the age of 6, and received a very official badge. This person was more than qualified to interview the squirrel, and able to translate what would sound to others as mere squeaks and chirps.
So to start off, what is your name?
Well, my real name is Fluffernut Squash III, but everyone calls me Biscuit.
Where did the name Biscuit come from?
This is a little embarrassing, but I went through this phase when I was an adolescent where I really wanted to be British. I had seen a few episodes of EastEnders through someone's window, and I just got hooked. I started chittering with a really bad accent, I called chips "crisps," french fries "chips," and cookies "biscuits." All the other squirrels kind of teased me about it by calling me Biscuit, and the name just kind of stuck, even after I grew out of that.
I get it, a lot of us go through a phase like that when we're young. So what draws you to StevenBe?
You all always look like you're having so much fun there. Everyone's always smiling when they leave, there's always shiny stuff and sparkles everywhere, and you always have such delicious-looking treats. You should really start sharing your treats with the local squirrel population.
Okay, we can start doing that. Do you have any experience with knitting or yarn or anything like that?
I mean, I'm a squirrel. No, not really. Sometimes people throw little scraps of yarn in a bird feeder or bowl or something for the birds, and I always like to grab a few to decorate my burrow. It just adds a little color, which is really important for the greyness and blah of winter in Minneapolis. You know what I'm talking about.
I do - it's hard to see nothing but dirty snow and cloudy skies for six months. Those are all the questions I have. Do you have anything you'd like us to know?
Yeah, I mean like I said before, just share your treats. I see you guys in there with donuts and pumpkin bread, and I'm out here with stale Cheetos that I found in the trash across the street. I just, I'd like some of that.
Absolutely. Thanks for making time in your busy schedule for this, we really appreciate it.
Yeah, anytime. Tell Steven I said hi, and that I liked his shirt the other day.